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05 May 2016 @ 10:06 am
[rant] The man opening the door  
I remember some Facebook image a friend shared depicting a man going ahead of a woman after opening a door (ex: car door) is "rude", but a man opening a door for a woman to go first is considered "sexist" because of the notion that the man is "assuming" the woman needs extra helpings.

(I'm too lazy to find this actual image)

This whole thing is pretty stupid to me, but this is why I just always accept and say thank you whenever a guy opens the door for me--and this happens a lot because I am OFTEN walking around with things in both hands and Google is full men. I can handle on my own just fine, it's not like I'm stupid enough to be intentionally going around without means to GET around... I just don't have the effing time to be like "oh no you should go first" and then risk getting refuted and all sorts of stupid delaying shit. Just say thanks and GO, move on with laifu, time is precious.

My mom on the other hand will try to lecture me about how I shouldn't take people's generosity for granted. And this is super obvious to me by now... maybe I didn't have much of a sense of what she meant when I was say FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, BUT I'M PRETTY MUCH THIRTY NOW... but she'll still lecture me about it as if I didn't grow up to be a proper adult whatsoever. Anyway, depending on her SANITY/WHIM she'll be the type to argue with the guy opening the door for her until either she gives up and takes the go, or the guy gets fed up with her lack of sanity and just GTFO. I think 95% of the door situation she would actually go, so this isn't a common occurrence by any means THANK GOD, but that other 5% that exists at ALL kills me.

And this also directly applies to how she handles paying for social events (meals) too. Once in a while she'll get into a hugeeeee "tradeoff" (my kindest word replacement for ARGUMENT) with the other party about who's paying for the meal. I remember this one specific time when we visited our sushi-restaurant-owning friend in Chicago--he paid a huge tab on a gorgeous meal at his restaurant and my mom wanted to pay, but he wouldn't have it. So instead my mom went passive-aggressive and gave the waitress a fifty dollar tip without him seeing. This is a super asian thing in general, and something I hope I never have to pick up on. If someone else is offering to pay, I want to just let them... and then there's mom's nagging in the back of my brain's history telling me that I shouldn't take people's generosity for granted, puts stress on my life... and eventually in the end this all goes into why I'm never having kids.... I skipped writing quite a few processes to get to this ending, but that's that. LOL. =_=;